S1E23 - AZARIAH - I Do Feel Fine Now

There is, unfortunately, no escaping physics bound by the speed of light. Even information must take its time to get birds going. And as we move farther into the void, that time grows until the distance becomes unspeakable.

Hey, Lex. It's as. Do I sound better? I feel better. Made the mistake of sniffling within the earshot of Hannah Babe, and she whipped around like, oh, sweetheart, you need knockout tea. And Alf and Benny were like, oh, shit. And sure enough, it was the most disgusting drink I have ever put in my mouth. And I was one of the stupid first years that drank the spicy cocoa they used to have in the mess hall. Thermo dispensers that tasted like tire treads and gave everybody the shits. Remember that? Yeah. Anyway, I think it was turmeric and cayenne and lemon and ginger. And there might have been some garlic in there. I don't tasted like a sweaty butthole. Pretty sure I went blind for a second when it hit my tongue. She made me like a gallon of it and drink it every day for a week. However, I do feel fine now. So in other news, get this. The old cargo operator used to use this trileg mobile loader for crates that were small enough to fall through the cargo net but too big to lift by hand. And they still have it. It's been in storage for like a billion years. Benny took me to the back end of the warehouse and showed it to me. Looked like the scaffolding was the only thing holding it up. And the pilot hatch was literally rusted shut. But once we got inside the thing, console lights came on. Needs a serious cleaning and some Tweaks, but we're pretty sure we can get it operable. Looking forward to being in a real cockpit again, even if it is basically a glorified exosuit with a forklift stapled to the front of it. Oh, yeah, and I found out the deal with Hannah Babe. She's Benny's mom and Alf stepmom. And she's broken up and got back with Tony so many times that nobody can keep track anymore, including her. Benny told me while we were working on the loader. Said she's always threatening to leave. Got as far as packing a bag a few times, but even when the transporter was working, she never went through with it. Loves the boys too much, I guess. And Tony, well, I mean, she hates him, but she loves him more than she hates him. You know? Dude, remember when we found out Master Sergeant Castello had a husband because Steph backtraced the link signature on that message saved to his private pldn terminal when we broke into his office that one time and everybody was like, what? No way. Because nobody could picture him demonstrating even an ounce of tenderness to another living person. But he'd written this whole ass love letter about how much he was looking forward to coming home. For his next sabbatical and having coffee in the morning together and signed it like, yours for all time or some shit. Do you remember that? And then we couldn't look at him without remembering that we'd read his love letter and we started seeing those tiny, like, softnesses in him that we'd never noticed before. Yeah, Tony's kind of like that grouchy old man with fucked up knees whose only volume settings are growl and bark, but also he brews coffee for the whole family when he gets up in the morning, even though he beats everybody out of bed by like 3 hours. And he waters Hannah Babe's shitty little windowsill, herb garden when she forgets, which is always. And he stalks the cold bottled drinks because he knows Alf hates putting his hands in the freezer, that kind of stuff. Oh, my God, I forgot to tell you. So my brain is still on academy hours, and I've been waking up around the same time as Tony and having coffee with him in the kitchen. Just like watching the surface of Neptune go by through the window. Because we're not really saying anything because it's way too fucking early to make conversation, but it's been nice. Really chill. But yesterday morning, Tony kind of grunted into his coffee and went like, benny says you're from a colony ship. That be the one the Saturnian rescue crews hauled in about five years ago. And I was like the Agnes Day. Yeah, and he kind of leaned back in his chair and sighed and looked really old for a second. And then he goes, I saw it. And I was like, when they hauled it in? And he was like, no, when it launched. Dude, that blew my mind. Turns out it passed over Gloria when Tony was just a kid. He literally saw it from the front porch so big it blocked out the sky for like 20 minutes. Shit, bro, it's so wild to think about. I wasn't born yet. They hadn't even invented Empathetic engines yet. And here's Tony chubby cheeked little kid standing on the porch, craning his little head back to watch this behemoth ass vessel going by overhead. Teddy was close enough to count the running lights on her ventral side. Anyway. Yeah, I've been trying to keep track of your schedule as far as I figure, and if I'm remembering right and my drift calc isn't way off, you guys are doing tandem simulator runs this week. Fucking good luck. Hate it for you. Sending you good partner mojo because you're going to need it. Oh, my God. Don't get stuck with balta. That fuckhead can't pilot his way out of a wet paper bag on account of how he spends all his solo SIM hours in front of the barracks mirror making his hair look perfect. Yeah. Anyway. Later, Holmes.

Unspeakable Distance is an actual play podcast of communication delay by Audio Quinn a link to the game's. Itch IO page and credits for our players are available in the show. Notes linked to this episode. This podcast has been a production of the Light Library of Cursed Knowledge Podcast network.